In Memory Of...

I've been waiting until this day to make what I would consider a pretty big announcement. You ask, "Why today?" Today, would have been the first birthday of our daughter Aleigha Grace. Aleigha was stillborn one year ago today. You can read about Aleigha's story here. This announcement is tied to Aleigha and our participation in leading the "Congo Project."

Soon after we told Caleb Bislow that we were ready to take the "plunge" and spearhead the raising of $10,000 to fund a home for the ladies and children of Jehovah Jireh in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Caleb asked us a question were weren't expecting to be asked but that we were sure thrilled to asked.

He asked us if we would be interested in having the building that would eventually be bought for the people of Jehovah Jireh dedicated in memory of Aleigha Grace Thompson. Of course, we didn't have to think two seconds before saying "YES!"

To think that God could continue to take and use the death of our daughter in significant ways and that people around the world would hear about our story, left both Rachael and I literally speechlees. So, Lord willing, upon the purchase of the building that will serve as the home for the ladies and children of Jehovah Jireh in war-torn Congo, it will be dedicated in memory of Aleigha Grace! How awesome is that!

God is Our Comforter!

On Sunday, Rachael and I had the privelege of participating in NMC's "ONE" Service. We had the opportunity to briefly share the story of how we have experienced God as "Our COMFORTER" over the course of the past year. It was a powerful moment to hear the stories of how NMC people had experienced God in very different yet equally powerful ways. Here's the snapshot that we shared:

Last summer, I (Rachael) was 7 months pregnant with our 2nd daughter. On July 22, 2009, Aleigha Grace Thompson was still-born at Goshen General Hospital. Just as God gave Noah a rainbow, He has given us the butterfly as a promise and reminder that one day we will be reunited with our daughter in heaven. God Is "Our Comforter!"

Remembering Aleigha - Part IV

This is the fourth and final installment in this mini-series I've been doing this week, in anticipation of Sunday, the day Aleigha Grace was scheduled to be born. In these blog entries, I've been sharing the things I wrote down during the week we learned of Aleigha's earthly fate, her birth, her death and her burial. These are things I wanted to remember and want to share with you so that you can see God's goodness as he worked in our situation.


"Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief"

22. The reassuring words from the mid-wives that there was absolutely nothing Rachael could have done to change the outcome or prevent Aleigha’s death was a huge blessing and brought Rachael great peace.

23. The hospital gave us a number of keep-sakes to bring home with us that we will be able to cherish forever and remember Aleigha by. They gave us a mold of Aleigha’s feet that one of the nurses made while we were in the hospital. This is something they do for the parents when there is an infant death.

24. I’m glad I took the time to create a lifetime memory and rock Aleigha during the final time that I would hold her this side of Heaven at the funeral home just prior to the graveside service at Olive Cemetery. I sang to her the same 3 songs (“Jesus Loves Me”, He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” and “Jesus Loves the Little Children”) that I usually sing to Haley and that I surely would have sung to her if she had lived. We asked David & Theresa Cummings to sing these three same songs at the graveside service for Aleigha.

25. Haley was able to give Aleigha a present to take to heaven with her – a little lamb similar to Haley’s that we named “Gracie.” It had a butterfly on it. We told Haley that every time she sees a butterfly from now on she should remember her sister who is in Heaven now with Jesus.

26. There was a teddy bear in Aleigha’s casket when we got to the funeral home. We told Haley it was a gift from Aleigha to her. She carries it around just like she does her Lilly. In fact, often we will catch her giving it a big hug, as if to say, “I miss you Aleigha!” It will be a good way for Haley to continue remembering her sister.

27. And lastly, all those people (whom there are too many to name them all here) who brought us meals, those who sent us cards (many of which shared of their own painful loss of a child and how the Lord had brought them through it), those who stopped by, those who sent us plants and flowers and maybe most meaningful of all, those who have shared with us how Aleigha's story ministered to them and impacted their lives in one way or another.

In all these things and more, we find reassurance that Aleigha's life and death were not in vain but in fact had meaning and great significance. It is for this, that we are most grateful!

Remembering Aleigha - Part III

As we approach this Sunday, September 27, the day Aleigha was scheduled to be born, I will share with you several blog entries that are from a journal entry I did titled, "Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief." These are things I wrote down during the week we learned of Aleigha's earthly fate, her birth, her death and her burial. These are things I wanted to remember and want to share with you so that you can see God's goodness as he worked in our situation.

"Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief"

15. The idea the Lord gave me on a whim to put together a prayer list to put on my blog and then to see how God used that to help people know how to pray for us. Based on the responses I got, it seemed to be a very Holy Spirit driven thing and something that really helped others know how to specifically pray for us.

16. The Lord gave Rachael the idea for us to encourage people to give to the AGC Baby Center in Aleigha’s name as a way to help bring significance to her life. The last I knew, several hundred dollars had been given.

17. The songs the Lord gave to us that brought us comfort, hope and healing during this past week, particular “Desert Song” from Hillsong."



18. An acquaintance of mine who dropped off a book at our house for Rachael to read. His wife was given this same book after she had a miscarriage. He said it really helped her through her own grief process. She read it often he said and they wanted us to have it hoping that it would help Rachael in her healing process as well. I was particularly moved by his thoughtfulness because we didn’t really know each other that well.

19. I believe the Lord used this event in our lives to give Rachael and me a chance for our faith to shine bright to those around us, especially to those who needed the Lord the most.

20. The mid-wives and nurses at Goshen General Hospital were a God-send. I could tell that they were really moved by our situation. They cared for us beyond any expectations we could have had. I trust they saw a peace in us that went beyond explanation and that they were impacted by this. The mid-wife we had for the delivery, Patti, was amazing. Our nurses were angels!

21. The delivery went very fast once Rachael started having contractions. She went from 2 cm to 5 cm to 8 cm in literally the course of an hour. Once we got to 8 cm, they broke her water and Aleigha literally just slide out without Rachael having to push at all. The fact that Rachael didn’t have to agonize through hours of labor was a huge blessing!

Remembering Aleigha - Part II

As we approach this Sunday, September 27, the day Aleigha was scheduled to be born, I will share with you several blog entries that are from a journal entry I did titled, "Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief." These are things I wrote down during the week we learned of Aleigha's earthly fate, her birth, her death and her burial. These are things I wanted to remember and want to share with you so that you can see God's goodness as he worked in our situation.

"Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief"
7. God just seemed to give such wisdom in making decisions, in such a way that it seemed like we really did everything possible to maximize the moments we had with Aleigha and to capture the memories of the week and Aleigha’s life and death. I think it was just God’s grace!

8. A good friend of ours who is a professional photographer offered to come and take pictures of Aleigha at the hospital as well as at the funeral home and graveside service. What a blessing this was! She also bought us 3 dresses and brought them with her to the hospital for Rachael and me to choose from to have Aleigha buried in. She then took the initiative to have the one we chose, tailored to fit Aleigha and get it to the Funeral home for us. What a gift!

9. Having our friends, Jody & Tara Lengacher, who help run Thompson-Lengacher Funeral Home, as the ones to take care of all the funeral arrangements for us. It was a huge blessing to have people we knew taking care of all the details and taking care of our little Aleigha.

10. Good friends of ours bought us a shrub that we can plant and remember Aleigha by every time we look at it. What an awesome gift!

11. My future sister-in-law’s mom made us a blanket that says, “Aleigha Grace Thompson.” It is beautiful and is something we’ll always have to cherish.

12. All of our friends who came to the service. What a blessing to see how much we are loved!

13. All the people who seem to have been impacted by how we have handled the death of Aleigha. That was definitely a God thing because all we did was react and do what we truly believed in. It was a blessing to see God use us in the midst of our pain and to know that in doing so it was bringing significance to Aleigha’s life and death.

14. God prepared Rachael on Monday for what was ahead. It was the first time in quite awhile that she had time to sit down and have a good, quality Time Alone With God. She Read Psalm 20. The very first verse says, “May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.” How appropriate!

Part III of this mini-series is coming tomorrow.

Remembering Aleigha - "Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief"

It may seem weird to title a blog post, "Remembering Aleigha", since it's only been two months since we experienced her loss. While I know we will never forget our precious Aleigha, life does have a way of swallowing us up in busyness to the point that unless we are intentional about remembering all the ways that God showered us with His goodness and faithfulness in the midst of our loss, we risk forgetting.

Thus, as we approach this Sunday, September 27, the day Aleigha was scheduled to be born, I will share with you several blog entries that are from a journal entry I did titled, "Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief."

These are things I wrote down during the week we learned of Aleigha's earthly fate, her birth, her death and her burial. These are things I wanted to remember and want to share with you so that you can see God's goodness as he worked in our situation.

Ways God Has Blessed Us In the Midst of Our Pain & Grief

1. All the Blog and Facebook comments and texts sent to us that brought us encouragement to know that we were not alone.

2. All the people who were praying for us. We could feel it. It allowed us to not only make it through the week but it has allowed us to have an indescribable peace in the midst of the greatest storm we have ever faced.

3. The way God prepared me Sunday night by giving me a clear word to take “one day at a time.” I didn’t know how much I would need to cling to this truth in the coming week.

4. A friend of ours offered to coordinate people to bring meals on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for 2-3 weeks. What a blessing!

5. The Lord used Haley to make us smile and laugh throughout the week. In fact, her name means, “gift” and in the midst of our pain, we realize all the more how much of a gift she is to us. Several things she did this week that blessed us were:

a. At one point, as we were driving down the road, she asked, “Is Jesus in the Sky?”

b. On my parent’s boat on Sunday (the day after the funeral), she pointed to the sky and said, “Hi Aleigha!”

c. She was perfect at the funeral service and towards the end when our friends, David and Theresa Cummings were singing “Give Me Jesus” she came over to me and lay in my lap putting her head on my shoulder.

d. As Rachael released the pink balloon at the end of the service, signifying that we were releasing Aleigha to go and be with her Heavenly Father, Haley looked up at the balloon as it drifted away and said, “Bye Aleigha!”

6. On Saturday night (the day of the funeral) my dad saw a rainbow in the sky. We couldn’t help but wonder if God could have been giving him a promise (as he gave to Noah) that he wouldn’t allow this to ever happen to us again.

I'll share more ways God has blessed us in the midst of our pain & grief in Part II of this mini-series tomorrow.

COOL STORY #2

On Wednesday we went 2 the nursing home 2 visit my great uncle who is dying of cancer. It's difficult 2 see someone who used 2 be so strong, now so weak that he can't even speak.

I've always liked my uncle Carl. Growing up, we'd always go to his & my aunt Eleanor's house on Christmas Day for a big family gathering.

Carl could be called what many would refer to as a real "man's man". I remember him being a tough guy on the outside while underneath being a real big teddy bear.

Spiritually, I don't think Carl was ever really interested in a relationship w/Christ. I think he always struggled w/the concept of needing help, including needing 2 have his sins forgiven by a loving God.

Over the years, I have prayed a lot for my uncle Carl, that God would soften his heart & bring him 2 the point of seeing his need 4 a Savior.

According 2 my aunt, Aleigha's death had a big impact on Carl. On Wednesday, I had the chance 2 talk 2 Carl again about Christ & 2 pray w/him to receive Christ! Isn't God awesome?

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Where Is God?

Some people ask, “Where Is God?” when tragedy strikes. In my experience the past two weeks, that’s honestly a question I never thought of asking. Does that surprise you? It does me.

Sure, Rachael and I have asked "Why God?" and wondered what greater purpose God has in taking our daughter "home" so unexpectedly soon but one thing we've not had a problem knowing is where God is in the midst of our grief. And there's no doubt in my mind why that's so.

I can honestly say that I felt God’s presence and sensed His love more last week than I have in a long time. A lot of our tears were the result of being moved so much by the overwhelming presence of our Heavenly Father in the midst of our pain. But more than anything else, it was the simple ways that fellow followers of Christ became the hands and feet of Jesus to us in our darkest hour that allowed us to say we've sensed God more now than we do most of the time. Whether it has been bringing us a meal, writing a card, sending flowers, simply leaving a word of encouragement, or just being present we have been truly humbled.

While there might be a lot of questions we ask when tragedy strikes and Rachael and I will probably continue to ask them too, I've come to believe that asking "Where Is God?" will not be one of them for those who are plugged into a healthy Body of Christ. What a testimony about the power of the Body of Christ when it’s operating the way God intended it to!

Our Memorial to Aleigha (in Pictures)

The following are pictures from a quasi-memorial that we have set-up in what would have been Aleigha's bedroom. We had just begun getting things all set in her room last weekend. The last picture is an actual imprint of Aleigha's feet that one of the nurses at Goshen General Hospital made for us while we were in the hospital last Wednesday.

The blankets, socks and stocking caps that are on her bed were all things that touched Aleigha while in the hospital and were things that the hospital gave to us. The blanket that is draped over the crib with Aleigha's name on it was made by my brother-in-law's finances mom, Debbie Akers.

COOL STORY

This morning, Rachael took Haley to the petting zoo at Linton's. They had a blast! When they were leaving, Rachael said there was a beautiful butterfly that followed them out as they left. It just happens that Haley bought a little blanket to put in Aleigha's casket that had a butterfly on it. We had told Haley when we bought it that whenever we see a butterfly we can let it be a reminder that Aleigha is with us & that she is thinking about us. How awesome it was that God allowed them to be reminded of this today by allowing them to see something as simple yet as a butterfly!

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A Way You Can Help Us Bring Significance To Aleigha's Life

Many of you have asked us to let you know if there is anything you can do to help us. My first response will always be to pray for us. Never underestimate the power of prayer!

Secondly, in lieu of flowers & plants, we are asking people to give donations to the AGC Baby Center in memory of Aleigha Grace Thompson. This would be a great way for you to help us bring significance to Aleigha's life and death!

The AGC Baby Center is located in Kenya, Africa and is a ministry partner of Nappanee Missionary Church. The Baby Center takes in orphaned and AIDS-HIV infected babies who are malnourished and will mostly likely die unless they are taken in by a ministry like the Baby Center. Thus, by giving to the Baby Center you are helping save the lives of innocent children in Africa!

If you would make a donation to the AGC Baby Center in memory of Aleigha Grace Thompson, you can send donations to Nappanee Missionary Church.

Ways to Be Praying

For Rachael: If you pray for one person/one thing, please pray for Rachael. The physical and emotional toll that a woman experiences who goes through having to deliver a still born baby is nothing short of profound. Pray for physical and emotional healing for Rachael and that this healing will occur as she goes through the grieving process in a very healthy way. Pray that her heart would be protected against the lies and schemes of Satan. Pray that the Lord would bring the right people with the right words into her life and across her path at the exact right time that she needs it.

For Haley: Pray that Haley would be able to understand, as best she can as a 2 1/2 year old, what is happening and that, in her own way, she would be able to mourn with us. Pray that Rachael and I would have wisdom in knowing how best to include her in our own mourning. Pray against Haley being confused.

For Aleigha: Pray that Aleigha's story (her life and death) will not have been in vain but that we would see how the Lord is using it to bring significance to her life and death. Pray that the Lord would give us opportunities in the future to help others who go through a similar experience. Pray that the Lord would use this event in our lives to bring lost people to Jesus. Lord, use Aleigha's life and death to bring fame to your name!

For Me: Pray that I would have wisdom to know how to best support and comfort Rachael during this time while at the same time grieving well myself. Pray that Rachael and I would be patient with each other and be understanding of one another as, at times, we grieve differently.

For Tomorrow: We are holding a private graveside service tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. with some close friends and family to say good-bye to our beloved Aleigha. Pray for...
(1) A rain-free service.
(2) That we would have the courage to be OK in letting Aleigha "go" once and for all into our heavenly Father's loving arms.
(3) That Rachael and I would have the strength and grace to make it through this very difficult day.

For the Long Haul: The toughest part of this whole experience will probably begin Saturday afternoon and/or Sunday when we realize we have no more steps to take in the immediate mourning process but rather must begin to figure out how to begin "moving on" without actually moving on in the sense of forgetting about Aleigha and what we have been through. I have a feeling that, even more than right now, the time that we will most need prayer will be in the coming days, weeks and months when everyone but us begins to forget about our experience and our daughter.

Final Thought: I heard someone say that those who grieve the deepest are the ones who end up being the most healthy in the end. The grieving process in losing a child (from what we've been told to be prepared for) is a long and difficult one. Thus, the greatest gift you could give us (Rachael, Haley and I) is to commit to regularly praying for us for the long haul. For that, we would be eternally grateful!

UPDATE: We arrived home from the hospital last night at 10:00 p.m. after spending 15 hours in the hospital. God was so good to us as he sent angels to minister to us throughout the day in the human form of nurses, mid-wives and doctors. Again, we can't say enough good about the child-birthing center staff at Goshen General Hospital. They were awesome! It was so hard to have someone else (from the funeral home) leave the hospital last night with our beautiful baby girl and for us to leave without her. Today, Rachael & I spent time doing things we never imagined having to do: making funeral arrangements for one of our children & picking out cemetery plots. It was hard in part because it is one step closer to saying our final earthly goodbyes to Aleigha. While our hearts ache beyond what words can describe, God has made himself so real to us in these days. We feel humbled by all those who
have said they are praying for us and by all the acts of kindness we have received. We feel blessed!

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Late yesterday afternoon Rachael and I went to the doctor after Rachael had some mild concerns that she wasn't sure she had felt the baby move recently. While going into appointment we weren't real concerned (we were going more out of precaution), our worst fears would soon be realized. After an ultrasound was performed, we were told that for unknown reasons our baby daughter (Aleigha Grace) had died in the womb. Obviously, we were & are devastated. Unfortunately, the hardest part is yet to come. Rachael will have to still go through labor. Tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. she is scheduled to be induced. Obviously, we would greatly value your prayers for today, tomorrow and the days to come. The promise the Lord has given me to hold onto during this difficult time for us is that "we do not mourn like those who have no hope." Praise the Lord!

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